I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
