final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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