I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
