Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
i black out too much to be "responsible"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
