so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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