It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
