I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
