Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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