You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
