found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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