Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize