Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
