so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
