we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
