Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
