Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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