Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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