I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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