Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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