So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
only if we run a train.
done.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
