plz talk dirty to me
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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