She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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