Don't you send me to vm
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
it's like iHOP with fire
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
