You made me cry and you don't even care
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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