So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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