He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
