That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
