Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
