Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
