And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
