i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize