They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
