i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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