How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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