Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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