I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You made out with two different species that night
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
