New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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