No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
