Where are you?
In a non slutty way
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
