It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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