I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
