I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You need a sexual gate keeper
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
