just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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