I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
...so i touched it.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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