you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
