Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
