so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
