My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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