Three words: puerto rican gang bang
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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