His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
