last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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