I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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