Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
