You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
