Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
