she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Sext me about skeletons
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
