I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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