p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
