dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
