Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Sorry my hands just texted you
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize