my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
