just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
