Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
