too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
