It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
