I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
