Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
