This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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