I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize