I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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