It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
