i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
