Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
