New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize