so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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