I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
