Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
