idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You are a genius and a whore.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
